FickleFanny

Hmmmm…. maintaining.  I guess that’s better than a gain, but it’s not very exciting.  My problem is that I lack consistency.  I get bored with eating healthy!  Well, I think I get into a food rut - I just keep buying the same stuff and pretty soon it doesn’t sound good anymore so I go off the deep end!  I get tired of the shopping & cooking too - it just seems never ending.

I also get bored with exercising.  And it seems to happen every time I start to do really well.  My running for example - when I make it up to 5 miles without stopping - I stop running.  Why?  Am I that self destructive?  I wish I could figure it out.  I will give myself one pat on the back though - Last night I REALLY wanted a pizza.  Instead I made grilled steak, big salad & a small baked yam.  I still ate too much though - those portions are still kicking my butt.

I wouldn’t say my attitude is in the toilet, but it’s certainly not soaring.  I am struggling to get back on track.  I wish I had a “reset” button, you know?

Hope you all are well - I’ve been pretty scarce lately so I wanted to check in even though I don’t have much positive energy to share!  Have a great weekend.

Yippeeeeee!  I just ran 5.3 miles without stopping or walking.  It was a 11.7 pace - so still pretty slow, but I’m thrilled with it.  Makes the harsh weigh in seem less important.  :D  I’m thinking a hot tubbin’ is in order!  Then - breakfast of scrambled eggs, turkey sausage and whole wheat eng. muffin w/ no-sugar, seedless blackberry jam.  My tummy is growling already!!!

Crap.  3 pound gain.  Not going to let it get me discouraged - I know that I ate poorly last weekend and I know that I naturally have fluctuations in my weight.  I also know that I have been working out and eating healthy so it’s bound to come back around my way (or my weigh) soon.

I am stiff and sore from the bosu workout and from the swimming.  Swimming is a weird exercise - at the time I’m doing it I don’t feel like I’m getting that much done, but on the bike ride home my legs and arms feel like rubber!

I’m trying to decide if I want to lounge this morning or if I’m going to go running.  It’s not raining… so that kinda makes me feel like I should run.  Also, Darren and I are thinking about taking the quad & dirt bike out tomorrow so I won’t have time to run then.  Guess I should to today…. YAWN.  Need more coffee first though!

Hope you all are having a great day and that your weigh ins go better than mine did! 

OMG!  That BOSU is HARD!  I could not even do most of the exercises properly or in time w/ instructors… but am dripping w/ sweat nonetheless.  I think I like it!  Did the whole workout and it didn’t take much time… not sure how long it took, actually, maybe 30 minutes?  Not sure… that’s a sign of a good workout:  you’re not watching the clock!  LOL.  Okay… now for a bike ride to the pool for some water fun since I’m all sweaty.

Last night while, er… snuggling, Darren commented that he can tell I’m getting smaller!  I KNOW I am, just had the size 14 pants proof yesterday, but I tell you NOTHING beats getting to hear it from your man.  :D  I’m still surfing that wave of pleasure this morning.  I have a healthy meal plan for today and plenty of activity planned as well so I think I’m set up to have a good day off work.  Here’s my meal plan:

 Breakfast:  Kashi/uncle sam cereal (1 cup) + 1 cup fat free milk +1 tablespoon crazins and 3 or so cups of black coffee.

Lunch:  LaTortilla Factory Smart & Delicious whole grain wrap + 1 wedge laughing cow cheese + red leaf lettuce + tomato + sliced chicken breast and a glass of unsweetened ice tea.

Dinner:  Cayanne rubbed boneless skinless chicken breast + avacado salsa (avacado, purple onion & lime juice)  + steamed broccoli + boiled red potatoes drizzled with olive oil & topped with cracked black pepper.

Snacks:  Banana, apple, fiber one granola bar (oats & chocolate - my favorite) and two squared dark chocolate for after dinner.

My activity will be cleaning house, doing laundry, organizing closet & dressers, BOSU workout DVD.

Hope everyone has a happy healthy day.

Just finished dinner.  Tilapia (spiced & seared, no oil), steamed asparagus, brown rice with mushrooms & green onions and a big glass of fat free milk.  I’m full, I’m satisfied and I’m pleased with myself! 

For lunch today I had a lowfat ham sandwich on double fiber orowheat bread w/ light mayo, tomatoes & lettuce.  And for breakfast I had oatmeal with that local honey - YUM! 

I’m off tomorrow so I plan on keeping busy & sticking to healthy food.  Maybe I’ll finally try out my BOSU.  A CD came with it - I’m looking forward to trying the workout.  I’m feeling happy & healthy today in spite of the spiteful scale. 

Hope you all are doing well.

Whew.  Only had to work 3 hours today, so after I watched the Bigges Loser that I had recorded I was inspired to go for a run.  Did 4.44 miles in 50:27.  Only 11.32 minutes per mile!  Hee Haw!  I also had a challenging head wind the whole way back and got POURED on the last mile.  Now I’m soaked.  So, since I’m soaked and getting pretty cold I think I’ll relax in the hot tub with a glass of tart cherry juice as my reward ;) 

BTW - Becky you inspired me to get out my tub of small clothes and guess what?!?!  I fit into my 14’s.  YIPPEE!!!  I put together two shopping bags of old clothes to take to Goodwill, and restocked my dresser with my new old clothes.  It feels GREAT!

However - I had to peek at the scale today… 187!  :(  That bad weekend caught up with me.  That’s a 3 pound gain.  I can only hope to shed it before Friday… but that seems unlikely.  Sorry Wildcats!  :(  I’ll do better next week.  (but since I’m still holding out hope that I’ll lose some if not all of that gain I’m not going to update my weight tracker until my official weigh-in on Friday!!) 

Hope everyone is having a great day!

Whoo Hoo!  Did 4.5 miles in 52:47.  That’s pretty good for me.  A slow pace, but ran the whole way.  Really enjoyed it too - ran through the forest and along the lake… Beautiful!  Now I need a shower and then it’s time to get cooking!  Hope you all are enjoying your day. 

Found my PMA - Darren helped me find it.  Love him!!

Going running on the logging road out at my mom’s house this morning.  Will be great.  Nice to visit her and my doggie too.  She also bought me some locally harvested honey - it’s supposed to help with your allergies if you eat local honey… so I’m going to give it a try.

Darren and I went shopping last night and got a basketful of yummy fresh produce.  I’ve got some really fun and delish plans for this weeks menu:  Hungry Girl’s version of chicken cordon bleu, Cayane rubbed chicken with avacado salsa, whole grain penne pasta with redpepper & artichoke tapenade, brown rice with mushrooms & green onions, talapia… going to stick to fish & chicken this week & see if I can still get a loss on Friday.  We have fresh broccoli, fresh asparagus, fresh artichokes and salad fixings to go with.  YUM.  I will do the bulk of the cooking today - but not the fish or veggies… those are quick and easy and best when cooked fresh.  SO, that’s my plan.  I have been getting plenty of exercise at work - mostly strength training -  and I have been adding some running afterwork on the days when I have enough energy left at the end of the day.  Not sure what this week will bring… I’m one of a handful of people who are working while the rest of the plant is shut down.  I think it could either be mind-numbingly boring, or back-breakingly difficult.  Either way is going to be okay.  I either get a lot of reading done, or I’ll get super workouts.  And either one will pay the bills. 

Hope ya’ll have a great week.

Oh boy - gotta get honest so I figure this is the best place.  I had the worst week… it just got progressively worse until Friday at work I became so upset and distracted I dumped two loads of 2×4 off my forklift & made a hugemess… then I cried!  I HATE to lose control of my emotions at work… at a sawmill people tend to judge women and I hate to act predictably - I like to be strong and in control!  So, instead of coming home and shrugging off a terrible week with a workout and some healthy eating, I drank, smoked, pigged out on terrible food, didn’t run my 5k on Saturday and layed around like a slug feeling sorry for myself.  Everything I did just made me feel worse and worse.  I could not have done any worse.  And this is why I’m fat.  Thank goodness for my boyfriend.  I was laying in bed (no shower, just hating everything and everyone) on Saturday afternoon and Darren came in and talked to me for a long time - talked like we haven’t talked for a long time.  He told me how my positive attitude was one of the things that most attracted him to me in the beginning.  How my ability to look at the bright side helped him so much when dealing with his stressful situations like his exwife and kids.  He expressed worry that he could easily slip down into my depression with me & just drink the days away and that I had helped him with that.  He told me that he loved that I cooked healthy food for him and helped to educate him on nutrition.  He told me that he knows that I’m strong and able to deal with the difficult situations at work - he’s seen me be strong in worse situations than this.  I was supposed to go out with a couple of girlfriends that night to see a movie and I had told him, before going back to bed, “Please tell Donna I can’t go tonight because I’m not feeling well”.  When we were talking he told me that he wanted me to go - either with him to his friends house to watch the motorcycle race, or with my girlfriends to watch the movie.  He said that he felt if I didn’t go I’d just feel worse about it - just like I felt worse after NOT running my 5k(which I totally do - I’m sick with remorse that I didn’t do that race).  Well, his talk got through to me.  It really made me see what I was doing to myself.  So, I did get up and shower.  I did go to the movie with my friends.  I did have a good time.  And, I am happy to say that I am feeling better, finally.  I am still upset and worried about work, but I know what I need to do - be strong and not let my feelings show so much.  There are just certain people out there that if they see your weak spots, they’ll dig at them - unfortunately I work with quite a few people just like that.  They seem to be mean, just for the sake of their own amusement.  But I KNOW that I am strong enough to deal with that, actually, not only deal with it, but keep a positive attitude and continue to do the right thing, show kindness and consideration regardless of the obstacles.  SO - I think I’m out of the funk and I really appreciate that he was so honest, and loving, and sincere and caring to help me climb out of it.   I’m so grateful for him.

Okay - so back to healthy food & working out.  I’ll have to find another 5k to enroll in so I can get back on track in that regard as well.  Thanks for listening - it feels good to get my ugly weakness out in the open… not such a dirty secret, and therefore, not as powerful.  I’m hoping that I didn’t blow too much of my weight loss with this transgression - I’ll have to be extra vigilant this week to ensure another loss.  Even a maintain would be good considering the weekend I’ve had.